The Frito Lays Supreme Court of Canada

Fact #1: The Canadian government wants to please the Canadian people.

Fact #2: The Canadian people would be pleased if the government eliminated the debt/deficit.

Sub-conclusion #1: The Canadian government should eliminate the debt/deficit.

Fact #3: To eliminate a debt/deficit, the government must either increase revenues or cut services.

Fact #4: The Canadian people will not be pleased if there are cuts to services. (Recall fact #1.)

Sub-conclusion #2: The government should increase revenues.

Fact #5: To increase revenues, the Canadian government can force the Canadian people to pay them more money (taxes), ask for money (donations), or sell things.

Fact #6: The Canadian people will not be pleased to pay more taxes. (Recall fact #1.)

Fact #7: No group of people will donate regularly or in large enough amounts to eliminate the debt/deficit.

Sub-conclusion #3: The only option the Canadian government has to increase revenues is to sell things.

Fact #8: The Canadian government has a limited number of things it can sell.

Fact #9: The Canadian government needs to sell a lot of things to eliminate the debt/deficit.

Fact #10: If you have a limited number you can sell and you need to sell a lot of things then you need to cast a wide net when considering what you could possibly sell.

Sub-conclusion #4: The Canadian government needs to cast a wide net when considering what it could possibly sell.

Fact #11: One thing that can be sold is sponsorship.

Fact #12: Sponsors will pay good money to associate their brand with entities that have a good reputation.

Fact #13: The Supreme Court of Canada has a good reputation.

Q.E.D.

Let's Define "Working Class"

You might have seen the following post making the rounds on facebook (posted by a Canadian):

Remember when teachers, nurses, postal workers, librarians, social workers, airline employees and care assistants crashed the stock market, wiped out banks, took billions in bonuses and paid no taxes? (Copy and paste into your status to show support for the world's working class)

The point about bailouts going to rich bankers is well-taken, but what irks me is the attempt to label teachers, nurses, and other relatively well-paid groups "working class". Language is fluid and I might be behind the times, but my understanding of the definition of "working class" does not include those professions. In my world, working class people are not government employees competing against the banks for bailout money because working class people are not politically organized. That's part of why they are stuck in the working class.

(Aside: the other thing that is irksome about the italicized statement is that it lumps nurses, librarians, postal workers, etc in with the "world's" working class, like people who make two-dollars a day stitching Nikes in Bangladesh should feel a sense of solidarity with entitled Westerners that own jewelry worth more than a house in Bangladesh and could not find the country on a map.)

If the definition of "working class" is "the group of people who work to make money" then politicians and bankers would be working-class but a retired steel-worker would not be. Unless you are trying to distinguish the masses from the landed aristocracy in pre-war England then using that definition of working class is not going to be very much help.

The vagueness of the definition makes the term useful to politicians. The NDP, for example, can talk about fighting for "working families" knowing that almost everyone will think of themselves as part of that group. They won't realize that "working families" is nearly equivalent to "Canadian families" which, incidentally, is who the Conservatives say they fight for. (I guess that leaves the Liberals fighting for non-working non-Canadians) In reality, the NDP is probably the party that would do the most for non-working families by pushing a stronger safety net for the unemployed.

Anyway, I am getting off-topic again. Below are three keys you can use to determine whether or not you are working-class. If all three statements are true about you then there is a very good chance you qualify.

1. Your household income is in the bottom third. Since working class is usually contrasted with middle class and upper class, I am using the one-third mark as the cut-off. In Canada, that works out to approximately $55,000. Remember that we are looking at household income so if you are someone who works part-time and makes only $10,000 annually, you will still fail to meet this condition if your significant other works as a teacher making $70,000.
2. You are not on salary. I wanted to say, "You are paid by the hour" but that would exclude people who are paid for production such as tree-planters and farmers. And I realize that lawyers and prostitutes are paid by the hour, but they are differentiated in the other two conditions.
3. You are paid more for your what body does than what your brain does. As a corollary, a member of the working class usually has to stand to do his or her job while the rest of us get to sit down.

If you are still on the fence, here are some other factors that would strongly suggest you are working-class or maybe even destitute:

• You know former co-workers who had to stop working because of injuries.
• You have unironically voiced a prejudice against a race or national origin in the past year, possibly while inebriated.
• You know how long you are allowed to stay on welfare before they cut you off.
• You think TFSA is an acronym for a new baseball statistic.
• Your house looks like the house next to it. Alternatively, you do not have a house.
• You last went to school in grade twelve.
• You have a job, not a "profession".
• You have ever worn handcuffs for non-sexual reasons.

The desire to be classified as working-class is similar to the desire people have to be well-off while simultaneously appearing poor. People love to complain about how tight their budgets are yet never discuss how they allowed their disposable incomes to be tied up on frivolities. Being rich is seen as tacky. People who are poor grind their way to make a living which is seen as a noble struggle. Their efforts may not produce stunning results but you have to admit they got the job done. They are "workmanlike", which is a compliment.
Essentially, the middle-class wants the sympathy and authenticity that comes with the perception of working crap jobs, but they cannot accept the reality of low pay and hard work that is the other half of the equation.

This has lead to white-collar workers romanticizing menial labour from a distance. Think about the protagonist in Office Space: At the start of the movie he is a software engineer which is a job that requires him to work for a living but he is not working-class. He is paid a good salary to essentially sit at his desk daydreaming. At the end of the movie, he gets a job as a construction worker, which is clearly working-class but it makes him happy. In real life no one is making that transition, but as a fictitious narrative it can sell a lot of DVDs.

@georgestroumboulopoulos

so excited to ask the bass player from Blondie some questions tonight about his childhood in urbana illinois ... gonna be amazing #philosophy

crazy ... did you know that google means a hundred zeroes? ... i know what friday's show is going to be about! #learnsomethingneweveryday

loving! the punk metal and other music with an edge on polaris short list this year ... awesome ... gonna try and listen to some of the singles later tonight on the show #stromboshow #indiepunk

taking an in-depth look at what gdp is on the show tonight! ... might be a graph of U.S. vs. Canada then we'll ask folks on the street what they think #thehour

did some yoga ... feelin good! ... now i just gotta get my head massaged at cranio-sacral then i'll be ready for profound discussion with the director of dude where's my car ... the hits just keep on coming #thehour

I may work at the CBC but i'm still an anti-establishment rebel #sexpistols

lots of views on PM Harper's throne speech in the newsroom at work today! ... fit in extra 30 seconds on the show tonight for it then doing a 40 minute interview with kathy griffin #thehour

i love hockey and i get pumped when the playoffs are on ... does guy laflower still play for the Canadiens? ... they are amazing ... great team ... definately my favourite #NHL #Canada

practicing sitting with as little of my butt on chair as possible at ACC ... society's rules are just not for me! #goleafsgo

just got into argument with air farce people at geminis ... we couldn't agree whose vapid jokes were delivered with less insight! ... wild stuff backstage! #bigtimecelebrity!

doctor says i'm good case study for long-term effects of ritalin overuse ... wanted me to see specialist but I shut him down #saynotobigpharma #holisticmedicine

our latest ratings came in ... happy to see good chunk of 35+ crowd watching! ... now need to connect with youth who need canadian cultural identity and news info! ... super pumped! #cbc

wow ... great show tonight with figure skater josee chouinard ... her views on spinning in a circle really made my head spin #cbcsports #humour

secret to public speaking for everyone clamouring to know: 1) keep face expressionless 2) read 10 words really fast without inflection 3) draw out eleventh word a little like it might be punchline 4) look confused for a second 5) back to step 1 #nextmansbridge

hey at least i am not @rexmurphy #journalists

good thing i have been focusing on my buddhism ... baristas way backed up at starbucks today and without my morning joe I almost went Nine Inch Nails there! haha! #punkbuddha

important cause i just heard about ... the rain forest get in way of farms ... donate at burnitdown.org ... very important! ... everyone has to contribute in their own way including celebrities #ilentmyvoice

celebrating Tommy Douglas's anniversary ... down here in vegas but going to make sure I get my vitamin water #preventativemedicine #vivalasvegas

lots of people asking me how i can stay so focused while I talk to borderline celebrities everyday ... trick is to move around a lot while they are talking ... go from lotus position to legs-crossed-at-thigh at least 1/minute #iaskthequestionsonthepapertheygiveme

camera flying around the set at work today! ... thought we going to have another decapitated audience member! haha! ... serious note ... does anyone else get stomach ache when they watch the show? #thehour

bosses at cbc want me to be on even more to help them connect with the youth ... i may be almost 40 but still young to them ... super pumped! #rockon #rollingstones

working with @jianghomesi to raise awareness about the struggles of first nations aboriginal artists in mississauga ... so important! ... lots of folks up there being forced to work full shifts when they have gigs #supportthearts

picked up my double-double at timmy's because i am regular canadian under my tough exterior ... terrible service though ... they need to put the wood to those guys #keepcanadavibrant

by the way! ... tim hortons was a great baseball player back in the day! ... still making us all proud today! #canadianhistory

was gonna do a sketch on the show today about baby-seal-hunting but realized you need writers for that ... more time for me standing and talking #pleasefundpublicbroadcasting

going out to vancouver to report on rioting that happened two days ago ... lots of questions to be answered ... great stuff! .... will make sure to ask vancouver bureau when toronto is going to finally get an Asian police chief #rockstarjournalist

make sure you vote! ... even if you know nothing about the issues or the candidates! ... think about how candidates would answer a question about their friends in high school and then make your voice heard! #democracy #voteordie

McIlroy in Haiti

Professional golfer Rory McIlroy made his first official humanitarian trip as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador this week, visiting newly built schools, a maternal centre, and camps for displaced people in Haiti.

My first reaction to this story was: who is Rory McIlroy? My second reaction to this story was: why would Haitians care? If I have barely heard of the guy and I live in a country with things like the internet, television, and golf, then would Haitians have any idea who he was? Haiti has the lowest Human Development Index in North AND South America, so they probably are not a nation of golfing enthusiasts.

But then I read about McIlroy's visit some more and I realized that he is not going there for the rush Haitians might get from meeting a quasi-celebrity from a quasi-sport. He is going there to raise awareness that Haiti still sucks a year-and-half after the earthquake -- really it always sucked but it sucked even more after the earthquake -- and so this isn't like one of those NBA Cares situations where they send the players out to read Dr. Seuss books to school children. This is more like one of those Live Aid concerts famous artists will play to raise money and awareness for an issue, but it would be weird if UNICEF rented an arena for McIlroy to hit irons in front of a screaming crowd.

Nonetheless, the cost to put on a photo-op like this cannot be negligible: McIlroy (plus the photographer and the journalist that I assume accompany him) must be vaccinated against cholera and other diseases, flown in, bused around, housed and fed. But I trust UNICEF did the cost-benefit analysis and determined they will get more back in donations than they spent on the publicity.

What is sad about this is that it implies there is a sizable chunk of us -- me included -- that would not think to donate to the destitute in Haiti if a golfer had not gone there for two days. It's great that he is raising money for Haiti, but it seems silly that he had to go there to do it. What does it say about the rest of us that he has to put on a show because he can't just ask for money?

The danger is that normal people will see a rich person like McIlroy spend two days travelling around Haiti and conclude that that is sufficient. Humanitarian tourism is better than nothing, but the poor people receiving it would probably prefer secure, long-term aid from those already inside the country that can help them in their own language. And if McIlroy -- who has already made over 10 million dollars in his young career -- is doing his part by handing out some cholera medication, demonstrating hand-washing, and holding kids for the camera, then the equivalent for someone of average means is stopping for less than an hour on a cruise around the Caribbean to throw a couple rolls of toilet paper into the rubble before snapping a quick pic of a senior dying of diarrhea while they give a thumbs-up to the camera.

Now that Rory McIlroy is winning the US Open and his Haiti trip is getting more play, UNICEF's investment in sending him over there is looking very wise. It's great for fundraising purposes but it also highlights the last angle to McIlroy's trip to Haiti, i.e. that it is good for his own brand. There must be some value to him as a public figure who endorses products and receives appearance fees to wrap himself in the blue flag of the United Nations. Any goodwill he generates as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador flows to him as well. Was it a coincidence that McIlroy went on his first trip as a UN ambassador the week before the US Open?

Dipping Sauce

As if pizza wasn't already bad enough for you. One dip cup of Pizza Hut's Roasted Garlic Dipping Sauce has 230 calories and 24 grams of fat, which is like adding another whole slice to a 9'' Meat Lover's pizza if that extra slice came with double fat.

Blogging vs. Insanity

It occurs to me that if I was keeping notebooks filled with random and discarded ideas I would probably be labelled crazy, but if I throw those same ideas up on a blog/twitter, I am a forward-thinking Web 2.0er.

Labelling Theory

Prostitutes vs. Drug Dealers

There is a challenge to the laws connected to prostitution working its way up the Ontario court system right now and one of the central issues being discussed is how to keep prostitutes safe while simultaneously punishing their customers. In the words of the national newspaper The Globe & Mail (G&M), "The appeal has dwelt on prostitutes to the exclusion of the real culprits – male customers."

Now, I could complain about the culprits being stereotyped as strictly male but that is a trite criticism and, to be honest, most johns probably are men. Instead, I'd like to speculate on why we accept that prostitutes are morally superior to their customers but we think drug dealers are much worse than their customers.

As proof of this distinction, first consider that under the Controlled Drugs and Substances Act, trafficking in opium, cocaine, or meth can get you as much as life in prison while merely possessing those same drugs can't get you more than seven years. In contrast, prostitution is technically legal in this country (and may be headed towards greater legitimacy) but soliciting the services of a prostitute is an offence. The pervarding opinion is that people who buy sex should be the focus of the fight against prostitution while people who buy drugs are a peripheral concern in the war on the drugs.

Let's start with what prostitutes and drug dealers have in common: Both peddle vice. Both have high demand for their product despite decades/millenia of intervention by the state. Both sell on street corners at the lowest levels. Both spread disease -- prostitutes in the form of STIs and drug dealers less directly through the needles their customers share. Both operate in a black market which prevents them from appealing to law enforcement when things go awry or they find themselves in danger. For both groups, operating outside the law makes them an easier target for violence, as does the criminal element they deal with in the course of their business. If anything, an addict is going to be more likely to resort to violence if he or she cannot get their fix relative to a john.

So, in an effort to explain the dichotomy, I have come up with some theories about what is going on, consciously or subconsciously, that would cause the moral repugnancy to lie with the producer/distributor when it comes to drugs and with the consumer when it comes to sex.