Sunday, December 15, 2013

Airports & Social Media

The problem with Twitter is that the time people are most inclined to use it is when they are stuck somewhere waiting so it’s great reading material only if you want to tap into the first world problems zeitgeist. I mean really, how many times can you read a snide remark about the peculiar habits of a passenger seated next to a tweet's author?


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

From a land before gifs

Hey René, how do you feel about the Parti Québécois essentially abandoning separatist referendums despite getting 49.42% in the last one 18+ years ago and being re-elected multiple times since then?

Lévesque isn't angry, he's just very disappointed in you, PQ.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Bioaccumulation

When I eventually have to replace my laptop it’ll be because there is so much food stuck underneath the keys that they are rendered completely unusable.

Not Pictured: My day-old brownie that crumbles over everything whenever a soft breeze blows in the same county.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Clausewitz on 70s Psychedelic Funk


Mil-history bros?
War! What is it good for?

Carl von Clausewitz.PNG
Mil-history bros!
The pursuit of politics by other means.



 Jackie Chan don't know nothin' 'bout no war.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Ontario Judge Denounces Rule of Law

I edited down a National Post article to brief you on the idiocy:
A Toronto judge lambasted the government Wednesday for its prosecution of an 89-year-old peace activist who refused to fill out the 2011 census, and found her not guilty.
[T]he Department of Justice didn’t have to go along with prosecuting an elderly peace activist who was a “model citizen,” Khawly said.
"I mean, really, could the defence have scripted anything better for their cause? Did no one at Justice clue in that on a public relations perspective, this was an unmitigated disaster? Are they that myopic that they could not see the train wreck ahead?"
“Could they not have found a more palatable profile to prosecute as a test case?” Khawly said.
Tobias was a photogenic “martyr in the making,” Khawly said.
“Anyone in Justice who had not seen that coming should be ushered immediately into an introductory marketing course,” he said.
First of all, the Honorable Justice Ramez Khawly has a rhetorical flair for excessive admonition that is perfectly appropriate for a hack blogger (e.g. me) and not at all appropriate for a magistrate.

More importantly, though, is Justice Khawly really saying prosecutors should focus their efforts on sending marginalized populations to jail? It seems too obvious to have to say but, just so we're all clear: The law should be applied equally to everyone. That's a pretty key part of what the rule of law is all about. The law should govern, not executive discretion.

Khawly should have focused on applying the law to the facts in front of him and let the public decide for itself what is photogenic. He isn't paid $265K per year plus taxable benefits to be the world's worst PR guy for an institution that should be less concerned with appearances and more concerned with spreading justice around evenly. Leave the politicking to the politicians, hmm?

While it is true that the judiciary and Crown should not operate in such a way as to bring the administration of justice into disrepute, that is only true insofar as a cherished constitutional or moral principle is in play, like freedom of conscience or freedom of expression. Two principles which, by the way, Khawly rejected as being applicable to the case before him. Instead he focused on the proud common law tradition of giving special treatment to old white women with government connections (in the form of a.

Hypothetically, if Justice Khawly was right -- which, to be clear, he is definitely not -- and superficial optics are really of foremost concern in criminal prosecutions, then the Crown should be targeting people precisely like every-woman-stand-in Ms. Tobias to reinforce the notion that the short-form census is still mandatory. That makes a lot more sense than adding another line to an Aboriginal convict's criminal record. As evidence, I submit the fact that every major Canadian news outlet reported on this story even though no one has ever been sent to jail for violating this provision, so the threat of a jail sentence was always theoretical, especially for such a "sympathetic" accused. Ms. Tobias was going to get a $500 fine, at worst. You just don't see that level of coverage when we're locking up another disenfranchised Aboriginal person for years upon years. When that happens it's not special but when an old white woman is facing a $500 fine then that's noteworthy to the degree of being newsworthy.


Speaking of crimes that aren't prosecuted enough, when are we going to crack down on this practice?

The other dumb thing this judge did is momentarily raise the bar for proving mens rea about ten feet for this woman. Here's a summary of that facet of Justice Khawly's abject mental deficiency in this case (emphasis is mine):
Audrey Tobias admitted that she refused to fill out the basic personal information the census required because it was processed using software from U.S. military contractor Lockheed Martin.
Tobias’s testimony left Ontario Court Judge Ramez Khawly unsure whether she was accurately recalling her intent for refusing the census nearly 2 1/2 years ago, or if the passage of time has “dimmed her memory.”
That left Khawly with reasonable doubt of Tobias’s intent and he said he therefore must acquit her.
Now normally, a guilty mind for an act can be inferred from the action itself. For example, if you punch someone in the face then there is a strong presumption you meant to punch them in the fence. You can maybe explain you didn't mean to but the onus is going to be on you to come up with a pretty good explanation why that punch was unintentional. It is not strictly necessary for the Crown to get you on the record as saying "I purposefully punch you!" at the time of the offence, shortly afterward and at trial.

The way Khawly puts it, however, you would think that for the accused to be found guilty he must state that he fully intended to commit the crime in open court and the judge must have no reason to disbelieve this confession. The best defence in Khawly's court would be to show up and confess your crime on the stand but be heavily inebriated at the time so Khawly couldn't trust what you were saying beyond a reasonable doubt. In that situation he would have no choice but to find you not guilty even if you did write a 20-page letter to your victim saying you intend to assault him beforehand and a 5-page follow-up memo confirming the incident took place as planned.

And it's not like refusing to complete the census is one those terrible crimes for which the mens rea element should be very high because of stigma or what not. The maximum jail time is three months, which is half as much jail time as you can get for pretending to practice witchcraft. Refusing to complete the 8 questions on the short-form census is a lot closer to speeding than it is to murder and speeding is an absolute liability offence, which means lack of mens rea is no defence at all.

Even Ms. Tobias's own lawyer was dumbfounded by the judge's disregard for legal norms:
Her lawyer, Peter Rosenthal, said outside court that it was unexpected for the case to come down to the “exact nuance of what she was thinking as she failed to fill out the form.”

“It’s a very unusual ruling in my experience and opinion,” he said.

“He wasn’t criticizing her for being an older person with a lack of memory. I mean, everybody reframes things as you rethink something that happened a couple of years ago.
I really hope the Crown appeals this acquittal.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Franco-Phoney

Thanksgiving has come and gone but I still have much to be thankful for. Near the top of the list is the fact that I am not a Montreal Canadiens fan. However, if I was, I would at least have a Halloween costume: Crystal Ball Huet. Here's how that would work.

"Douche" means shower in French. I don't know why I just thought of that.

First step for Canadiens-fan-me would be to stop writing online screeds deploring the culutral genocide I perceive the Anglos to be inflicting on my province of residence long enough to cash my pogey cheque that the ROC subsidizes. Then I'd make a trip to my local cardboard/NHL jersey shop. Whilst cursing the Leaf Maples de Toronto, I would buy three strips of cardboard and one of the many discount #39 jerseys lying around that the boutique's proprietor thought were such a good wholesale purchase during those heady days back in 2006 when Huet was a promising 32 year-old goaltender and (more importantly) a real French person, like legitimately from France!


Finally, I would make a cardboard sphere out of those three strips, spray the dome with the silver spray paint leftover from my inspired (and totally original) Nuit Blanche art project that satirized crass commercialism, pop a whole in the top and bottom, throw the necessarily* loose-fitting jersey over top and voilà: Crystal Ball Huet. If Canadiens-fan-me wants to put a cherry on top then he'll pull a hammy and react slowly to incoming objects.

*: Necessarily because (1) Canadiens-fan-me is fat even fatter; (2) it is a hockey goalie jersey; and (3) it has to fit over a dome, duh.

Ed. note: The editors would like to thank guest author Articulate Don Cherry for this post and, in the same breath, disavow the guest author's views and opinions which do not necessarily represent the staff at yourplacefamily.blogspot.com, even though it would be super nice if those thievin' Quebecois bastards could lay off our wallets for like ten seconds so we could enjoy just an instant of financial breathing space for once in our wretched lives. I mean, c'mon!

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Fork in the road

Back in May, Patrick Roy had a choice: he was pursued as a head coaching candidate by the Buffalo Sabres and the Colorado Avalanche. If he wanted, he could go to Buffalo where his son (Frederick Roy) was signed to their farm team and their top prospect (Mikhail Grigorenko) was graduating form Roy's very own junior team, the Quebec Remparts. He went the other direction and now, 5 months later, Colorado is 5-0 and tied for first while Buffalo is 0-5-1 and dead last in the league.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Sometimes it's just not your day

“How come there’s a Father’s Day but no Son’s Day?” –Self-absorbed boy

“How come there’s a Labour Day but no Capital Day?” –Self-absorbed industrialist

“How come there’s a Labour Day but no Casearean Section Day?” –Less-than-intelligent mother post-surgery

“How come there’s a Presidents’ Day but not a Vice-President’s Day?” –Joe Biden

"How come there's a Guy Fawkes Day but not a Girl Fox Day?" Feminist Otherkin

“How come there’s a Martian Luther King Day but not a Terrestial Luther King Day?” –Hard-of-hearing man named Luther King who also believes aliens walk among us 

"How come we celebrate Christmas but not Michaelmas?" Devotees of the Archangel Michael and dumb people named Michael who have brothers born on December 25th named Chris

“How come there’s a holiday on Good Friday but not on bad Friday?” –Anthropomorphized Friday the 13th



Friday, August 9, 2013

Missed Correction


It's too bad HBO didn't green-light Noah Baumbach's The Corrections TV-show (based on the book by Jonathan Franzen) because they could have used this song on it.

Here's the scene: At a dinner party with other faculty members, Chip relates a story from his midwestern childhood with winking contempt for the generic American quality of the tale. Once he's done, a wistful expression replaces the sardonic look on his face and the buzz of dinner conversation is faded out so that this song can come in cleanly. Chip takes a sip of his red wine. While the song continues to play the corresponding video switches to a flashback of young-Chip genuinely happy amidst the story he just told. Then the episode ends, the screen cuts to black, and the guitar part of the song kicks the door down while the credits play. Or maybe you cut to Chip driving drunk, the moment before he slams into oncoming traffic, I don't know, I'm not a show-runner.

You might have to cut out one of the stanzas from the song to get the timing right but it would have been beautiful if they pulled it off since both the song and the book trace the dismal arcs of Missouri families, and both are awesome.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

A Dynamic Euphemism



If you watch television, "dynamic entry" might refer to Kramer entering Jerry's apartment. If you are a member of the Ontario Court of Appeal, "dynamic entry" means kicking down a door and pointing a bunch of guns at an unsuspecting guy then yelling at him to lie on the ground. 

In Burke 2013 ONCA 424, the Ontario Court of Appeal upheld a dynamic entry, no-knock search for child pornography on the accused’s computer in which the police kicked in the accused’s unlocked door, pointed firearms at him, ordered him to the floor, and handcuffed him.

I'm not even sure it's necessary to avoid knocking in this situation, let alone necessary to point guns at the accused. I haven't had the opportunity to survey possessors of child pornography but I doubt they would delete all their CP files the moment someone knocked on their door.

Exacerbating the matter is that the police could have asked for permission to be so "dynamic" in their warrant but didn't bother. Per the Ontario Court of Appeal:

[36]      Here, the search warrant did not specifically authorize a no-knock entry. ... [P]olice now add “no-knock” to the ITO when seeking to obtain search warrants in these types of cases.
[37]       The Tactical Unit executes the warrant in the manner in which they have been trained to do unannounced entries.  According to Det. Bryden, they operate as a team.  One covers the back of the residence, one covers the front. The rest of the team enter together kitted up in their uniforms; they wear body armour; some have semi-automatic weapons and it is possible that some wear balaclavas. They clear the place as soon as possible.
The legal realist in me wonders how much more graphic this description would read if the justices had thought the execution of the generic warrant was over the top and not commensurate with the danger of the situation?

I would describe the tactics employed by The Tactical Unit as the result of ongoing police power creep but it sounds like their powers might already be maxed out because they are at a military level. In fact, one shouldn't speak of their "tactics" but of their "tactic" because they apparently know only one way to enter an abode, i.e. violently dynamically.

Appellate Justice Weiler justifies their actions by arguing that digital files can be easily deleted or encrypted. Presumably Weiler pictured the accused with his cursor hovering over the "permanently delete" button for all his CP files, ready to click the moment he heard knuckles meet wood on his front stoop. And Weiler apparently felt this way even though the affidavit sworn to get the warrant itself stated that persons who possess child pornography often do so for an extended time and also stated that the accused had already possessed the files for a period of eight months. I guess no one had knocked on the accused's door in the past eight months.

The other implicit presumption Weiler makes is that the police -- who demonstrated in the lead-up to bashing down the accused's door that they have the advanced technological expertise to identify CP files online and where they are going -- lack the ability to recover files once they are deleted. That presumption is false. The police have software like "EnCase" that can recover deleted documents including metadata. This software has been successfully used in many criminal prosecutions in Canada. In fact, according to judges in other cases, even reformatting the computer would not remove all of the offensive material. Here's an Albertan judge summarizing the power of EnCase back in 2003: 
The Encase program images everything on the hard drive, which would include information that a user may have “deleted,” but still remains on the hard drive. 
The court upheld the manner of the search was reasonable since the police did not know whether the accused would be using his computer or be near it at the time of entry. But by the same token, the police didn't know if the accused would be sleeping, arming a bomb, or pointing a gun at a hostage at the time of entry. In those types of situations the police would be much better off taking a less forceful approach. There is an inherent risk of escalating the situation unnecessarily when you break into a building so "dynamically".

Finally, I should mention that the reliability of the method used to track the CP to the accused's computer was in question on the appeal. The police are lucky that it was there because it's a lot easier to justify their "dynamism" with that bit of a posteriori knowledge.

Weiler's vision of police electronic forensic experts once computers have been seized