Bad Timing

It's well established that all decisions made by the Harper Government© must go through the Prime Minister's Office (PMO), so I have to assume the following conversation happened yesterday between the PMO and the Office of the Minister of the Environment (OME):

OME: Hey PMO, it's unseasonably warm right now with temperatures going up to 9°C in the middle of December, and we just got back from a high-profile UN conference on the importance of mitigating climate change where we recognized that the collapse of the Kyoto protocol could destabilize markets. What should we do next?

PMO: ANNOUNCE WITHDRAWAL FROM KYOTO PROTOCOL!

OME: Who should we get to announce it?

PMO: THE GUY WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT OZONE IS!*

OME: Won't that piss people off?

PMO: NO BECAUSE ANNOUNCEMENT WE SPEND $600 MILLION TO ALIGN ENVIRONMENTAL POLICY WITH AMERICA AND REDEFINE "CLEAN AIR".**

OME: But Canadians hate it when we copy the United States.

PMO: TOO BAD! WE ALREADY CO-OPERATE WITH AMERICA ON TRADE & SECURITY DEAL.

OME: Why are you yelling at us?

PMO; BLAARGH! PMO MUST GO! KITTENS TO PET!

Keep in mind, last time we tried to get on the Security Council we lost to lowly Portugal, a country so messed up that is begging Angola (of all places) for help and trying to save money by skimping on local anaesthetic.

*: Seriously though, who appoints an Environment Minister who doesn't know what ozone is. That's like appointing a Science Minister who doesn't believe in evolution. 

**: As long as we are spending $600 million to define "clean air", maybe we can spend another $10 million to get Peter Kent to define "ozone".