... about an Oxford comma

Every time I am writing and I have to decide whether or not I want to use an Oxford comma, I always get this song stuck in my head:

Once that song is in my head I am reminded that Vampire Weekend exists and I consider whether I want to listen to some of their music. It's like free, very effective marketing for the band. Of course, if I didn't like Vampire Weekend then I would probably be annoyed with them and I wouldn't even consider listening to their music, but if I didn't like Vampire Weekend then the issue would be moot because I wouldn't want to listen to them whether I was reminded of their existence or not. (Also, I would be lame for not liking such a good band -- an Un-Coolguy Thrawn, if you will.)

I think musicians would be smart to write more catchy songs about peculiar nouns that have distinct names so that whenever the noun pops into your head, the catchy song quickly follows and you end up thinking about the musician's oeuvre. That's the ultimate goal of most marketing and branding anyway, isn't it? That you'll instinctively associate them with other things and turn your mind to their products? In that sense, musicians really have an inside track on marketing because half of what makes a good advertisement is the music to start with.

For example, The New Pornographers should write a song about macadamia nut cookies. Well, not actually "about" macadamia nut cookies, but a song titled "Macadamia Nut Cookies" that uses that phrase as a chorus lyric with an appealing, easy-to-sing/hum vocal melody. That way, the next time I am at Subway waiting for the sandwich barista to wrap up my sub and my eyes being to ogle the oatmeal raisin, chocolate chip, double chocolate, M&M, and (of course) macadamia nut cookie selection, The New Pornographers will pop into my head and I will ponder whether I want to buy more of their music, even if only for a fleeting second before the request for cash or credit snaps me back to reality.*

It's sort of like how Seinfeld used candies with silly names that stand out like "Jujyfruits" and "Junior Mints" to make the show a little bit more interesting and quotable, but more fiendishly capitalistic.

*: Whoops, there goes gravity.